cat grass (how to spoil your feline brat even MORE)

my kitty with newly-grown cat grass:

when i first got my cat, she really liked to chomp my plants. i was not thrilled with this, so i looked into other possibilities.  not other cats, but rather, plant-eating deterrents.

first i tried bitter spray, liberally sprayed on my plants. it works, kind of. when you spray it, particles get in the air, not just on the plant. you inhale it and taste just how bitter it really is. (VERY.) and then you end up literally washing your mouth out with soap. and washing your hands as if you have OCD for the rest of the day. it gets everywhere and does not wash off easily.  i hate that stuff. now i use a qtip to apply it, but i still end up getting it on my hands somehow. the stuff is nasty.  it helps, but not quite well enough.

so then i read about cat grass, and promptly bought a pot at whole foods for $5.99. it’s just wheat grass.  the cat LOVED it, and she stayed away from my other plants now that she had her very own.   she seemed so happy nomming on her cat grass. …and then it died after two weeks. i was annoyed.

so i looked up how to grow it, and i’ve been growing it ever since. i have to sprout new seeds and rotate it regularly, but it’s worth it.

this is what you do:

- buy some wheat berries at a health food store. (they seem like seeds to me, but whatever, nomenclature.)

they’re CHEAP. i got a big bag for $1.99, and it’s lasted me a year and a half. it’ll probably last me another couple of years with regular plantings.

- take about three teaspoons and put them in an open container with lots of water to soak. store them somewhere dark, and change the water morning and night for two or three days. i keep them under my sink in the bathroom, where there’s a little cabinet.

if you swish them around and get rid of the bubbles, the seeds should sink to the bottom, which makes it easy to change the water. the water will sometimes get a smell to it when the water needs to be changed–not a good or bad smell, just a very organic smell. even if it doesn’t smell like anything, change it regularly.

if the water gets a bubbly film on it, or if a bunch of seeds are starting to float, you may have been soaking them too long, or you’ve forgotten to change the water. they’ll still sprout when you plant them, but less. occasionally, i’ll soak them for longer than i meant to. so it goes.

with time, they puff up a bit and get little nibs that are the sprouts. this is what they look like when they’re ready to be planted. you can see i’m using a plastic container leftover from long-ago takeout:

- prepare a little pot with soil. you’re going to need to store the pot somewhere dark where the seeds can sprout. spread the seeds out in the soil–they can be close together but not crowding each other toooo much. like this:

- water them (drown them, really) twice a day. make sure the water is well absorbed and dripping out of the bottom of the pot, if you have a pot with a hole in it. you want the seeds to stay damp so they’ll sprout.

i put the pot under the bathroom sink with a dish underneath it to catch extra water. the seeds need to sprout in the dark for a few days. keep them drenched but mostly drained. make sure to water the pot morning and night so that the seeds don’t dry up. if they dry up once, you can save them, but if they’re too dry, they won’t sprout. if they’re not properly drained or don’t get good enough air circulation, there might be some mildew. that doesn’t effect anything, but i usually prop one door of the under-sink cabinet open a tiny bit for air circulation.

after a few days of darkness and regular watering, they will be sprouted. you can leave them a little longer to make sure they’re well sprouted. (just remember to keep watering!)

- find a good place out of the reach of your cat to place the pot, and let the sprouts soak up the sun for a few days. they will turn green and grow pretty fast! now, it doesn’t really matter whether you water or not. i don’t, really.

then put them in reach of your cat and see how the kitty loves her cat grass!